Poetic Injustice

I should have probably returned to my bakery once I read the announcement, instead of retreating to the outside cafe. I am simply unable to focus upon the needs of others.

The piece of posted rence was small, in my opinion smaller than it should have been upon the public announcement board, stating the resignation of the Peoples Magistrate. I have examined it from all angles and still I find no clear answers as to why this upsets me. Yet it does. I would be lying to myself if I attempted to deny it. There is a part of me that can easily justify it with the explanation that the betrayal I feel is largely due to the fact that I was the driving force behind his nomination. Yet what I feel has nothing to do with my own political aspirations, or the welfare of the City. As illogical as it sounds I feel slighted by his public resignation, the betrayal stems from a more personal level. There is no part of me that doesn't understand the fact that he owes me nothing, no explanation, nothing. The word betrayal perhaps is to strong, yet at the moment I am unable come up with a suitable replacement. The anger I feel is palpable, seems to defy explanation. I don't know what I thought, perhaps that he would not give up, that he would continue to fight the good fight. I read that back and I feel a sense of shame, for he did fight hard, even when it jeopardizes his own well being.

I am the worst type of fool, wallowing in the past, foolishly attempting to cling to a relationship that I purposely ended long ago. As I read the term relationship, it seems to imply a sense of intimacy, which didn't exist at least not according to traditional terms. There was a time however that I did consider our relationship intimate, only because it extended past my own normally allowed boundaries. Its hard for me to clearly articulate the way he made me feel I do know that I trusted in his opinion and valued his council, in this I wasn't alone. The time I spent in his company proved him to be a man of strong convictions, something I will continue to respect. He is the type of man that despite his masterful ability to command a crowd, never made me feel insignificant, nor those he was elected to represent. His ability to command a crowd with such effortless authority is something many hungrily attempt to archive yet seldom obtain. It is such traits that brands him as a powerful leader but also separate him, marking him a personal threat for a woman such as myself, I knew then as I know now that he is not the type of man that could ever enter a relationship with a woman that he did not completely dominate. In my attempt to arrive at some type of understanding, I will admit I wish it was different...that I was different.
I find it unsettling not to mention unproductive to openly explore such honesty in such a public setting instead I will instead focus upon gratitude, one that demands to be shared among the citizens of Ar, for his diligent service, we were as a whole made stronger because of it. There are not many that could have shouldered the burden with such strength during such uncertain times, I only hope the same can be said concerning those that follow in his sandaled footsteps. The disillusioned feelings I originally harbored when I started writing replaced with well wishes for him and gratitude for without realizing it, he broke down the walls that surround me, making me examine my own life.

Yes I think the City will miss him. I dare say, I will miss him.