It wasn't until I began packing up my personal items that I returned to find my dusty leather bound journal. To say that I missed transcribing my personal thought would be a lie. I suppose that it simply speaks of my character, guarded to the extent of hiding self evident truths even to myself. It has always remained such a odd perplexing mystery to me why some wear every emotion on their sleeve, exposed and vulnerable, it will no doubt remain a riddle never be solved, at least by me.
I open these pages now, with no startling revelations to record.
The passing of time has been fortunate to me and my sons.
I have successfully pushed away foolish dreams of what used to be, instead I have learned to embrace the future, content with the cards I have been dealt from what I originally considered a stacked deck.
I still miss Tiberious, yet I am not haunted by the linger taste of my vengeance.
I think he would be proud of me, proud of my accomplishments.
Seth is growing into a fine young man, I wish at times there was a masculine presence in his life to help teach and mold him. The coin that I received from Taeleia remains in trust for him to help finance his training, the time draws close when I shall enroll him in the Military University just outside of the City.
I have heard promising things about the place. I will however continue to do my research before making any decisions upon his future.
Tynan, my youngest is so different from Seth, yet each child seems to compliment the other.
Tynan even at 3 en'vars is far more outgoing than Seth ever was that age.
He is my joy, my heart.
Watching him embrace everything in such an eager anticipation delights me to no end.
The satisfaction of grooming Tynan to take his rightful place as a great leader is unparalleled.
That alone is his destiny.
The only thing that troubles me is his relationship with his father, it is for that reason that I have decided to cultivate my relationship with Taimh.
I still don't trust him, the anger I feel towards him simmering just below the surface, masked beneath a warm smile.
I cannot lie, even with the passing of time, it hard for me to shake the utter disregard he showed towards me after I gave birth to his first born son.
The way he callously chose to spend his time reclaiming that woman instead of honoring the end of our contract, still leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.
Yet I am attempting to push aside my own personal feelings opting to take the high road for the betterment of Tynan.
I have however not become blinded to past slights and they shall soon be amended.
I am confident they shall each get their 'just desserts'.
The bakery has netted a healthy profit this past en'var. I have managed to successfully lay claim to several lucrative contracts.
The accomplishments however did not come without hard work.
In the process I have managed to branch out not only monetary but socially as well.
The connects I have made, fill me with a fond sense of comfortable security.
The bulk of the coin I was paid upon the end of my companionship with Taimh was used to invest in a new venture, one that to be honest, intimidated me.
I was ill prepared for the hidden costs involved in the construction needed to restore the structure, a place that shall soon house what I hope to be one of Ar's finest Inn's. It has taken much work yet thru the contacts I have made, I have secured the rights to several of the best Vintners both within Ar as well as other regional locations. It is my intention to offer seldom found speciality items that are normally considered hard to find in the City, as well as providing delicious cuisine. It is my hope that within the next couple of en'vars I am able to successfully establish similar Inn's outside of Ar.
I am proud to admit that I must make myself ready for the impending meeting with the Poet, a man not lacking power in his own right.
I have yet to meet a man that wasn't impressed with my sharp insight and womanly charms.
The bulk simple creatures, often times easilymanipulated, amused as they pat themselves on the back all the while assuming that whatever transpired was a result of their own sharp intellect.
Generously I allow them such for I am not so outwardly smug or bold to risk losing all that I have fought to obtain.
In the end I shall not only secure the contact to host the upcoming production but in the process take one step closer into achieving my ultimate dream of prestigious power and the elite social statues associated.
The sense of peace that fills me is profound.
I feel that despite past obstacles I am finally coming into the woman I was destine to be.
A single small delicately sculptured cup could house the single drops of regret.
I face the world alone.
Yet I do not cower and complain, instead I am made stronger by such adversities.
Challenges met with a sharp mind and confident spirit.
This alone I know to be true.
I open these pages now, with no startling revelations to record.
The passing of time has been fortunate to me and my sons.
I have successfully pushed away foolish dreams of what used to be, instead I have learned to embrace the future, content with the cards I have been dealt from what I originally considered a stacked deck.
I still miss Tiberious, yet I am not haunted by the linger taste of my vengeance.
I think he would be proud of me, proud of my accomplishments.
Seth is growing into a fine young man, I wish at times there was a masculine presence in his life to help teach and mold him. The coin that I received from Taeleia remains in trust for him to help finance his training, the time draws close when I shall enroll him in the Military University just outside of the City.
I have heard promising things about the place. I will however continue to do my research before making any decisions upon his future.
Tynan, my youngest is so different from Seth, yet each child seems to compliment the other.
Tynan even at 3 en'vars is far more outgoing than Seth ever was that age.
He is my joy, my heart.
Watching him embrace everything in such an eager anticipation delights me to no end.
The satisfaction of grooming Tynan to take his rightful place as a great leader is unparalleled.
That alone is his destiny.
The only thing that troubles me is his relationship with his father, it is for that reason that I have decided to cultivate my relationship with Taimh.
I still don't trust him, the anger I feel towards him simmering just below the surface, masked beneath a warm smile.
I cannot lie, even with the passing of time, it hard for me to shake the utter disregard he showed towards me after I gave birth to his first born son.
The way he callously chose to spend his time reclaiming that woman instead of honoring the end of our contract, still leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.
Yet I am attempting to push aside my own personal feelings opting to take the high road for the betterment of Tynan.
I have however not become blinded to past slights and they shall soon be amended.
I am confident they shall each get their 'just desserts'.
The bakery has netted a healthy profit this past en'var. I have managed to successfully lay claim to several lucrative contracts.
The accomplishments however did not come without hard work.
In the process I have managed to branch out not only monetary but socially as well.
The connects I have made, fill me with a fond sense of comfortable security.
The bulk of the coin I was paid upon the end of my companionship with Taimh was used to invest in a new venture, one that to be honest, intimidated me.
I was ill prepared for the hidden costs involved in the construction needed to restore the structure, a place that shall soon house what I hope to be one of Ar's finest Inn's. It has taken much work yet thru the contacts I have made, I have secured the rights to several of the best Vintners both within Ar as well as other regional locations. It is my intention to offer seldom found speciality items that are normally considered hard to find in the City, as well as providing delicious cuisine. It is my hope that within the next couple of en'vars I am able to successfully establish similar Inn's outside of Ar.
I am proud to admit that I must make myself ready for the impending meeting with the Poet, a man not lacking power in his own right.
I have yet to meet a man that wasn't impressed with my sharp insight and womanly charms.
The bulk simple creatures, often times easilymanipulated, amused as they pat themselves on the back all the while assuming that whatever transpired was a result of their own sharp intellect.
Generously I allow them such for I am not so outwardly smug or bold to risk losing all that I have fought to obtain.
In the end I shall not only secure the contact to host the upcoming production but in the process take one step closer into achieving my ultimate dream of prestigious power and the elite social statues associated.
The sense of peace that fills me is profound.
I feel that despite past obstacles I am finally coming into the woman I was destine to be.
A single small delicately sculptured cup could house the single drops of regret.
I face the world alone.
Yet I do not cower and complain, instead I am made stronger by such adversities.
Challenges met with a sharp mind and confident spirit.
This alone I know to be true.
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