Administrative Blindness

The passing of the Waiting Hand, provided the perfect vessel to clear my disillusioned mind.
As with many it was spent in quiet seclusion, the slaves kept busy with minimal chores, consisting mostly of sewing, conversation held to a minimum, the warmth of the ovens extinguished, painted door closed marking the end of the long winter and the approach of the coming En'Kara. I have always openly embraced this time, yet never have I welcomed it with such a willing mind. It offered me the opportunity to openly reflect upon all that has transpired both personally and professionally. The majority of my thoughts centered upon Tynan and his training. The pride I feel concerning his achievements continues to grow. The updates I have received from the Academy proves him to be a natural leader. I seriously didn't expect anything different, it is just a mothers pride to hear from others what I have always know to be true, his destiny is one of greatness. There are times I wonder how he would feel if he knew the lengths that I gone in order to secure his rightful place as Administrator. Truth be told, it doesn't matter if he is aware of it, for their is ample time for him to show his apperception when he obtains the power to do so properly.

This morning the ceremonial burning of the brak bush was a private event, afterwards crumb was dispatched carrying the verbal news among those considered my Caste equals, while the freckled slave set about cleaning the paint from the front door as well as the walk way from debris. A menial task that suits her station. I am finding her worth slowly increasing to more than I originally expected, her mind is sharp, sharper that I she lets on, easily missed by most for I have noticed that she hides it well. Her hands are quick and her mouth is often times silent.
I have yet to decide her overall fate and I find myself in no rush to make such a decision.

The remainder of the day spent working, baskets removed from storage, lined with recently dyed cloth of bright yellow before being filled with fresh loaves of Sa-Tarna as well as an assortment of small sweet cakes, both crumb and freckles divided up the districts before setting on foot delivering them to some of my preferred customers. It is a tradition that was put into place my mother and one that I still consider important. I believe its good to reward past loyalties, that and the fact that the majority have come to count on such reciprocity. It pleases me to be able to help them, not to mention playing the part magnanimous benefactor is a role I enjoy.


I will admit if only within these private pages that I find a modicum of satisfied comfort in the fact that we did not bring about this conflict. Their calloused blindness never so apparent as I watched the elaborately decorated floats begin their assault along the City streets, the effort and expense put forth was a sickening display of wealth and power.
The nerve they still maintain is extraordinary, one tossing out small hard candies and coins across the square, sending the masses to scramble like animals in their haste to claim it as their own. I am torn concerning what disgusts me more, the fact that it drew a response or the act itself.
I know now they will remain blind until they are forced to see us, forced to feel the scorn of our disillusionment only when that is accomplished will there be cause to celebrate.
I sit here now purposely choosing not to speculate on my own damaged interior one that allows me the opportunity to be writing in the relative safety of my residence, guilt free while the violence I had a hand in perpetuating, spills out across the City streets, on a night intended for celebrating. The lavish ceremony only serves to prove the level of intelligence that exists within the High Caste, to be that stupid and self involved to consider for a single ehn that we have reason to celebrate. They should have known better, I am however confident that the message delivered tonight, was done so in violent enough voices much to strong to be ignored. I scorn them for their continued ignorance.
The time for quiet compliance has reached an end, they were fools to think otherwise.


It saddens me that I am unable to recall a time when I gathered with those I consider equals to speak of something other than current corrupt administration. I despise the fact they have taken something so pure as the love of ones Home Stone and turned into something sinister and ugly. I am sickened by the knowledge that the only thing that stops me from taking any of their lives is simply opportunity.
The fast has left me hungry for something other than food.
The wait is over.