Delusions of Grandeur

"Yes those new slippers are nice. I wonder if they make them in a smaller size to fit my feet?"

Does simply adding the obligatory, no offence to the statement make it easily to digest?
Some feel that words are just that..words, rights set in stone, experience however has taught me differently. Words be them petty, slanderous or insulting come with a price and depending upon the relationship you hold with the other, their Caste or more importantly their gender, the price of such vocal admissions at times can be more than your willing to comfortably pay. There are no absolutes when it comes to speaking your mind. The lesson is one that I continue to learn.

The part of me that wishes the topic of discussion had been something so inconsequential as footwear is that part of me that I am unable to truly embrace, it is simply not in my nature to be led by my heart.

I truly harbored no preconceived expectations when I arrived at his office for the impromptu meeting.
I only knew that the desire to see him was undeniable. His stern council and wisdom are something that I did not set about coming to depend upon, in fact there are times that I think it would be easier if I didn't, considering his current position, yet I am unable to stop what has already started.

The mountain of scrolls piled upon the corner of his desk seemed to multiply as I stood in the doorway, the scene, oddly comforting and serene, allowing me to momentarily block out the turmoil and raged just outside. Tupita quietly arranged the pillows, adding to my level of comfort, beverages served as I broached the topic that had been dwelling within the recesses of my mind. I am alone in that I do not make it a habit, sharing my concerns be it business or personal. As with most things in my life, the transference of established trust that exists between us has developed slowly while still maintaining a set of stringent boundaries.

I will admit it felt good to remove the heavy weight from my shoulders as I set about explaining my monetary concerns involving both of my owned establishments. The juice tasted sweet as I listened to his sage advice, in the process reminding me of how fortunate I am compared to the rest of my Caste. I am aware now that I needed that reminder. I suppose we all need that occasionally.
Comparatively speaking I am in a better position than many. It was then that struck with another reminder, that revolving around the desire of why I continue to seek out his council.
He always manages to somehow focus me in the right direction.
I have decided to take his advice and wait out the current economic storm, rather than risk all that I have worked so hard to build.

I should have probably left then before the topic turned to the macabre thanked him for the beverage, his words as well as his valuable time. Yet I didn't.
It was inevitable I suppose that the conversation turned to talk of Titus's recently recovered body.
I had after all been the one to mention the public findings.
___

"The tide seems to be turning. It was more than Titus over the last few hands. Three other high level Magistrates have met their end similarly. More are sure to follow."

"I hope that you are taking the necessary precautions."
"They were all corrupt, Miss Tamborn. Assassins are, despite their unsavory reputation, often employed as agents of justice."

"The list of the corrupt, does that include you Magistrate?"Chin tilting slightly, blue eyes studying him intently.
"You were after all one of the first to be struck down..publicly at least."
___

The need to know, surpassing my good judgement.

In my quest for personal clarity, I am left to wonder, does it matter that I met no offense?
I did not expect a reply and didn't receive one, yet his entire demeanor changed within the span of a single ihn, confirming what I knew to be true. The restraint that he demonstrated evident within his tone as he signaled an abrupt end to our meeting. I didn't want to leave things the way they stood between us, it mattered little that my intentions were purely to ease my own mind instead of casting demeaning dispersions upon his character.



This was one of the rare moments that I took advantage of those rights afforded me, not only as a Citizen but as a Free Woman, in the process elevating myself upon a grander scale. A scale constructed and balanced by his own patient leniency. I am not delusional in this knowledge for he is not the type of man that allows any woman to set the terms for him.